Wow has it ever been one of "those" days for me. Actually... more like one of "those" kind of weeks. Since this blog is basically a journal/record for my little family, I feel the need to express my honest and true feelings of how I feel today.
The feeling of being completely "under-qualified" to be a mom has overwhelmed me lately! Is it normal to feel like such a crappy mom sometimes? Am I doing enough? Am I teaching my children what they need to know? Am I really setting a good example for my children to follow? Was it normal to burst out into tears at the mall today... because both my kids were crying and in "meltdown mode" while trying to get out of Barnes and Noble (that's where Thomas the Train is) and complete strangers were looking at me, like I was totally incompetent in controlling my children?
I feel like a total failure as a mom--for the fact that Hunter refuses to drink any milk products whatsoever, and he will probably have stunted bone development because he doesn't get enough calcium in his diet.
And sometimes I get so sick and tired of the constant battle-- with getting him to eat "good food", that I give up and let him just eat a poptart or Easy Mac?
Oh yeah, it was really fun yesterday when I went to pick him up from preschool--to find that he had actually spit on one of his best friends and was in timeout. And even more awesome when I got a phone call later that day from his teacher wanting to discuss his behavior.
I know motherhood is filled with all sorts of these situations, but sometimes I feel like I have no idea what I am doing! It is so difficult when the "rewards" of being a mom come in such small and fleeting moments, that you have to pay really close attention, or you just might miss them.
I really needed to read {this} talk today, and should probably read it everyday for that matter! I love more than anything how Pres. Ballard says: " There is no one perfect way to be a good mother. Each situation is unique. Each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities, and certainly different children. The choice is different and unique for each mother and each family. Many are able to be “full-time moms,” at least during the most formative years of their children’s lives, and many others would like to be. Some may have to work part- or full-time; some may work at home; some may divide their lives into periods of home and family and work. What matters is that a mother loves her children deeply and, in keeping with the devotion she has for God and her husband, prioritizes them above all else."
I wished that I knew all of the answers of what I specifically need to do, but I really am at a total loss right now. I really wished that I was a stronger person, and had the ability to do so much better than what I am doing now. I wished that I could actually reach the potential that I know I have inside of me, I just don't know how to achieve it. Yes my friends, it has definitely been one of "those" days....and I just had to get it out!
11 comments:
Those days so totally suck. It happens at leat twice a month for me :)
Here's what I think. I think those feelings of inadequacy are normal and mean that you're on the right track. Not to get too preachy but if we didn't need any help we wouldn't have to rely on the Lord and the spirit.
I find myself constantly conversing...not even really praying...(of course praying too) but talking even out loud asking if I'm doing this right, praying for forgivness from the recent yelling match I won with my 4 year old (yes mother of the year there I know) and of course always asking for patience.
Days like the one you're having keep it real...keep it human...if you know what I mean. It makes us humble = teachable.
I think you're doing a great job.
If all else fails there's always a gallon of ben and jerry's washed down with a pound of chocolate something...that usually works for me :)
It's nice to hear other moms have bad days, I think we all do! We tend to blog about all the fun things and then it seems like life is a party for everyone! Don't feel bad about the diet - sometimes I give Cody a pop tart or fruit snacks for breakfast because he won't eat anything else...don't tell Ben he would die!! You do such cute and fun things with your kids and you are so sweet, Obviously you are a great mom!
I had one of those days yesterday, ended with me putting the girls to bed and crying my eyes out from guilt. They happen to ALL of us, I promise! We would probably be really bad moms if we thought we were doing it all right! :)
You are doing a great job, hang in there, some days are just a lot harder than others. And some days we are just WAY too hard on ourselves and have totally unrealistic expectations. Our children are children, they do things that are totally embarrassing regardless of how well we've taught them sometimes. And sometimes we just have to laugh. Or cry. Or both. Or eat lots of ice cream, like Erica mentioned. I'm down with that one.
Also, last night when Christian finally came home I told him all of the things that I thought were so horrible that I did and didn't do and he laughed forever. He thought it was so funny that I thought any of it was a big deal. Really, sometimes I think we're just way too hard on ourselves :)
Hang in there, girl! You are a GREAT mommy!!!
Oh Andrea......where to begin? It seems to be one of "those" days more frequently the older the kids get. I absolutely know how you feel as stated in my last post. Being a mom is one of the hardest things that I have ever done. Actually I think it is THE hardest!! As I was talking to my mother about things with Logan lately I asked her why each child couldn't have come with their own owner's manual like a car or something. That would make these days so much easier. I think that we have kids to teach them, but also to teach ourselves. Don't be so hard on yourself (I should probably listen to my own advice), I know it's not that easy sometimes, but seriously don't be so hard on yourself. You are doing a good job. When we went to lunch, Hunter listened to you and didn't run away. If Hunter doesn't like to drink milk, just give him cheese and yogurt and some calcium supplements-like gummie vites from costco, Logan loves them!! I think Logan and Hunter are at such a hard age. They want to be so independent and it's hard to reason with them. Angie Clift once told me that her pediatrician told her to "pick your battles with toddlers, it's not worth the fight". I tell myself that a lot these days. Besides, what's wrong with Pop Tarts? Sometimes, Logan eats them for breakfast and lunch. I'm sure there is something nutritious in them. Hopefully anyway!!! Sorry for the novel, but I know EXACTLY how you feel right now. I feel incompetent at least 2-3 times a day. You ARE doing a good job. Seriously, I've said it lots of times, but I wish I was more like you and took my kids to do such fun things!! You are awesome, Andrea!!!
Sweet little Annie . . . I have had the great joy and satisfaction of watching you parent on many occassions most recently for 2 weeks in Utah. I am able to view first hand the total love and devotion you have for the boys. I have often gone to bed after watching you and thinking boy I wish I had been as good of a parent as Annie is with Hunter and Tanner. Then I have another thought come over me and that is boy I'm glad I have raised kids to be so much stronger and patient than I was during that time.
You are a strong girl Annie and sometimes I think we are tried and tested beyond our own ability to cope so we will turn for help. Take it from me; sometimes I have to be beat over the head in order to humble myself enough to go to the Lord for guidance.
One thing you need to always look at with your kids is what is in their heart? We did this numerous times when dealing with Brady and each and every time we said Brady has a good heart and he will get through these challanges. Look where he is today Annie ! Like you said motherhood is BIG on expectation and LITTLE on praise but keep going trust me in the end it is all worth it. Just look at what I get to count as payment for the priviledge of being your mother !!!
Love you.
Poor Annie! Let me just tell you that if you're concerned you're not doing enough....you obviously have an amazing amount of love and compassion for your two adroable boys! (Just the fact that you're worried says it all!)
You are such a great mom. you have so much patience and seriously I do look up to you in the mom department. I don't know how you do it all (usually alone) all the time.
I love Carter but I get to drop hom off at daycare three times a week and go be an adult for 27 hours, you don't! You're an amazing mom and your boys are very lucky to have a mom like you!
I have been having ALOT of those days recently, I think they come in spurts. It just seems to me that life falls apart all at once and I am made painfully aware that I have no idea how to handle any of it! You are doing a great job, whenever I am feelin really bad about myself I up my personal prayers and scripture study, Heavenly Father knows we are doing our best and wants us to improve but not be down on ourselves all the time. I really think feelins of inadequacy come from Satan and once we realize that we can choose not to let him get to us.
Sorry that it has been one of those weeks for you! Like everyone has said we all have them. You truly are an amazing mom and every time that I look at your blog you and doing fun things with your kids! There are the cutest smiles on their faces. You were chosen to be Hunter and Tanner's mom because He knew that you could do it! Try not to let those days get you to down because you are an AWESOME mother! (I often think to myself that I wish I could be more like you!)
Oh good, I'm so glad to hear that I'm not the only one that falls apart and has feels that I have absolutely NO idea what I'm doing! I've also cried myself to sleep sometimes thinking how hard I am on Ken, but kids recover a lot faster than we do. Thanks for the post, I think I needed the confirmation that I'm doing the best I can. You are too, it looks like you have two cute, awesome little boys!
I'm so sorry that you are feeling like that, but it is nice to know that I'm not the only one that goes through this! You are a great Mom, I am always impressed at all of the fun things that you do with your boys. Thanks for posting that quote, it was inspirational and a good reminder that we just need to do what we can. I hope tomorrow is better!
Andrea-I think you are amazing and don't worry-I have bad days too. Remember how you scared me about toddlerhood, well we're here! I'm sure i'll have my fair share of bad days! I have to tell myself everyday that they are just little muffins that are trying to learn and grow and doing naughty things is part of that! Love you!
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