{confessions of an ungrateful mom}

The last few months have been a bit of a challenge for me. Without going into a huge amount of detail ....I will just say that I have struggled with finding the "joys" of being a mom. When I look back at this past Winter (I say winter is passed even though it snowed here last weekend.) I know a lot of it has to do with being couped up in our house and going stir crazy with two small children to entertain. But it was more than that.

I have had major insomnia and headaches for the past 6 months. I couldn't understand why I felt so tired and irritable during the day time...until a light bulb went on in my head (duh!) Living on 4-5 hrs of sleep a night is not enough for me to function as a good mom/wife/friend during the day time. All of my patience was used up for the day and it was only 9 am....the big stack of laundry that would pile up, the dishes that would my miraculously fill up my sink each day, the long list of bills that needed to be paid, the constant refereeing between my boys, it all got to be beyond overwhelming!

I finally decided that it was time to go the Dr. to see if there was something else going on with me. Thank goodness for Dr.'s who listen and care. I feel very fortunate that my Dr. is such an amazing physician. Turns out nothing was in fact "wrong" with me...I was so desperately hoping that he would find something in my blood work that would explain why I felt like I was losing my mind. Negative. Now I am glad that there wasn't something seriously wrong, but at the time I was looking for a reason to explain the madness.

Then one morning....I picked up the phone and called my mom. As I burst out into tears while explaining to her of all my "woes"--I will never forget what she said to me that day "Annie, sounds like you are experiencing motherhood to its fullest, and it is very normal to feel overwhelmed at times." WHAT??? This is "normal" I said. I guess to hear words of counsel from someone that I regard with such a high esteem and love, to tell me that she remembered all to well being a young mother herself, and having had very similar feelings as I do-- was what it took to "snap" me back into action. There have been other things obviously that needed to change/improve-- like my sleeping habits, but with time that has worked itself out to.

There was one major thing that happened....that truly changed my outlook on being a mom, and that thing is gratitude! What blessings and joy had I missed out on because I was too busy feeling overwhelmed at the very thing that brings me the most happiness and joy in this life. My family. Yes, raising kids is by far the hardest thing I have ever had to do....so far. My eyes literally fill with tears now when I look at Hunter and Tanner because I feel such a deep and unconditional love for them. I am humbled and honored that I was chosen to be their mom. My heart aches for the times that I took for granted the precious moments that I get to share with them everyday.

I know I will have many more days to come, when my patience is gone and the day has just begun, but now I look to find gratitude in all things. The last Conference talk by Elder Wirthlin {"Come what May...and Love It"} is my new motto in life. I am pretty sure that the Morris family has many more challenges ahead, I hope we continue to take each day in stride--and "Love it!"



Today I got to spend the afternoon just "enjoying" my boys! It helps that the weather is much warmer too I think. We went to Raccoon River Park today with some friends and just let the kids run free. It is days like these that make it easy to find gratitide in the small and simple things.















Last week was Dad's Day at Hunter's preschool. Luckily Steve was able to go since he was on night rotations last week, and Hunter couldn't have been more excited to have his dad there. He was so proud to bring his dad to school, and introduce him to all of his friends. Steve said he had one of the best days ever with Hunter and was amazed at how well he is doing in school. They had icecream and cookies for snacks that day, and when Hunter got home, all he could talk about was the special day that was spent with his dad.