{trial of your faith...}

I have stated several times here on my blog, that I use this 'space' as somewhat of a journal for myself-- to record the events and activities in my family's lives and experiences that we share together. One of my favorite things to do, is to look back on past holidays or birthdays, and reflect on how much change has occurred over the years. I initially started this blog of mine at the end of 2007--so I have a few years to look back on and reflect.

Today, as I sit here in my warm and cozy house surrounded with excitement and anticipation that my children have, as Christmas is about to unfold this coming week--I am really struggling to find the proper perspective and balance I so desperately need right now. With the tragic events of last week, weighing very heavily on my mind--my heart is filled with a deep sorrow and anguish for those left in the wake of the senseless crime that took place in Connecticut. I believe after last weeks events, we all have a much deeper love and appreciation for our loved ones, and more specifically our little ones. I know that I have certainly kept my little ones very close to me over the past few days, and feel nothing but gratitude in my heart that I have been so richly blessed to be their mom.

With that being said.....I have really wrestled with the idea of writing down some of my thoughts regarding our current situation and the struggles that my family is facing at this time. It is my intention to hopefully be able to look back someday, and be able to recognize the Lord's hand in our lives' and gain a greater and more profound testimony of faith and endurance. Those two words have meant a great deal more to me, than they ever have in recent weeks. I always thought I understood what the scripture in Peter 1:7 meant when it talks about, "And by the trial of your faith...." But I suppose now, as I am currently struggling through a very real 'trial of my faith' that those words come to mean so much more.

A Conference talk from April 2011 titled, "More Than Conquerors" by Paul V. Johnson-- has really given me a lot of comfort and strength in recent days. A few excerpts are here below:

"Earth life includes tests, trials, and tribulations, and some of the trials we face in life can be excruciating. Whether it be illness, betrayal, temptations, loss of a loved one, natural disasters, or some other ordeal, affliction is part of our mortal experience. Many have wondered why we must face difficult challenges. We know that one reason is to provide a trial of our faith to see if we will do all the Lord has commanded. Fortunately this earth life is the perfect setting to face—and pass—these tests.

But these trials are not just to test us. They are vitally important to the process of putting on the divine nature. If we handle these afflictions properly, they will be consecrated for our gain." Elder Orson F. Whitney said: “No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. … All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable. … It is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire.

At times it may seem that our trials are focused on areas of our lives and parts of our souls with which we seem least able to cope. Since personal growth is an intended outcome of these challenges, it should come as no surprise that the trials can be very personal—almost laser guided to our particular needs or weaknesses. And no one is exempt, especially not Saints striving to do what’s right. Some obedient Saints may ask, “Why me? I’m trying to be good! Why is the Lord allowing this to happen?” The furnace of affliction helps purify even the very best of Saints by burning away the dross in their lives and leaving behind pure gold.Even very rich ore needs refining to remove impurities. Being good is not enough. We want to become like the Savior, who learned as He suffered “pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind.”

How very humbled and thankful I am for these words of counsel above! Even though this has been, and will continue to be a very challenging time for us, I am comforted at the words I read, the songs that uplift, and the offerings of peace and unconditional love and support that I feel from those who are the closest to me. I look at this family picture that was taken just a few short weeks ago, and am instantly awakened to the 'things that matter most' in my life. As I look into the faces of Steve, Hunter, Tanner and Mia Kate....for a brief moment the weight is lifted and I am truly happy.

As Christmas time draws near, another thing that I want to keep in proper perspective is the reason and meaning behind why we celebrate this very special holiday. A friend of mine posted this quote from Pres. Uchtdorf, and I found it very fitting, as it is a great reminder of what we should be focused on this time of year.

“We have in our minds a picture of how everything should be—the perfect tree, the perfect lights, the perfect gifts, and the perfect family events. … [But] sooner or later, something unpleasant occurs … and the picture-perfect Christmas we had imagined, the magic we had intended to create, shatters around us.”

However, if we focus our hearts and minds on the true spirit of Christmas we will recognize wonderful things happening around us.

He continued, “It is usually something small—we read a verse of scripture, we hear a sacred carol and really listen to its words, or we witness a sincere expression of love. In one way or another, the Spirit touches our hearts, and we see that Christmas, in its essence, is much more sturdy and enduring than the many minor things of life [that] we too often use to adorn it.

“We realize in these precious moments what we feel and know in our heart—that Christmas is about the Christ.”

Merry Christmas

:The Morris Family: